In the video, Friedman’s Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made Simple, Dr. Jonathan Camp discusses the book, A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman. This concept of differentiated leadership was new to me, but I instantly felt connected to what was being discussed. In the video, effective leadership is described as the “emotional process of regulating one’s emotional anxiety” (Camp, 2010). This is also referred to as self-differentiation.
When you are a self-differentiated person, you have the ability to stay out of the workplace ‘drama’ and take a stand on what is right, even if others disagree. You don’t fall into the anxiety triangle of others, where they try to rope you into negative conversations or situations. You are able to remain calm and collected and repel any outside influences that may cause anxious thoughts or actions. You can confront other people’s problems neutrally, and can diffuse problematic situations that may arise.
As perfect as this ‘person’ sounds, this is not something that is easy for all of us, myself included. I find myself thinking about these traits of a self-differentiated person and thinking, “wow, this is what I strive to be like”. I know I fall short of being this perfect, and I know I am not alone. Staying out of other people’s problems and shielding yourself from their projected anxieties will not only will help your mental health, but it will prevent stress and burnout from your job (Camp, 2010).
References
Camp, J. (2010, November 10). Friedman’s theory of differentiated leadership made simple. [YouTube] https://youtu.be/RgdcljNV-Ew